She Slays Me

Emerson in her "princess dress" on Thanksgiving

Since I don’t want the last post to be just about the state of my vagina I figured I better write.

I never really liked babies, they squirmed, they pooped, they grunted, they were aliens. I always liked toddlers – they were curious and creative and funny and fun. Everyone said when I had a baby, I would feel differently about them.

Well I had a baby and of course I loved her immensely, but I couldn’t wait for her to get to different stages where she interacted – looked us in the eye, we could make her smile, she could tell us how she was feeling. And when she became a toddler I was so excited – I loved this stage in other people’s children and I adore it in mine.

Last night I got home from a pretty shitastic day. I was dragging in, near tears from an argument with my mom, breaking my Metro SmarTrip card, some bitch on the Metro, bad day at work, gaining four pounds at Weight Watchers.

“Oh Mommy, I so happy to see you! Come here, I give you a princess kiss!” I went over to her, eating pasta and peas and she gave me a big long “princess kiss” in the middle of my forehead. She looked me in the eye and said, “Mommy sad? You need a hug” and opened up her arms to hug me.

I got home late, so it was the tail end of her dinner. I took her upstairs to get undressed as my husband started her bath. While he bathed her, I finally got a chance to change from my work clothes, pee, brush my teeth, calm down. Realize how blessed I am to have this family, this life and I shouldn’t let petty crap get to me. Life is more about princess kisses than strangers calling me a honkey bitch.

When her bath was finished I bundled her up in a towel and we went to her room. The weather is so drying so lately I have been giving her a post-bath massage with almond oil to keep her moisturized and it also helps her calm down for bed. I cover up the non-massaged part of her with a blanket and rub her feet and she sighs loudly, content. She then jumps up and says, “Come here Mommy, I love you” and gives me a hug and a kiss on my cheek. “I love you too Emerson, and you telling me that is the best thing you could say to me.” I tell her how me, Daddy, and she make a family, that we love each other very much, and are very lucky people to have one another. She starts singing the song “Family” that they play on Nick Jr and we sing together. She laughs, sits down so I can get on her footie pajamas.

We read The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, I cheat on the pages about all the cats within the hat because it goes on far too long but she doesn’t stop me. She settles in on my lap, her head tucked into the curve of my neck. When finished, she tells me she is ready for bed. I tuck her in, realize her sippy cup is empty and get her more. “Thank you Mama, thank you for water, I love you.” My heart melts. “Night Night Mama, Mwa!” and she blows me a kiss as I close the door.

This kid slays me. I loved her as a newborn, but I am full-out crushing on her as a toddler. She is such a sweet person – she’s so concerned about people’s feelings, she’s so polite, so thankful. Of course she loves to scream and get her way and yell “MINE!” but that’s normal for this age. But between the minor tantrums, she’s such an awesome human being and I really enjoy being in her company.